The Grief Brief

The feeling of missing someone does not go away, get better or dissolve into outer space after the statutory two year grieving period!  It is always there, it hurts and you learn to live with it. We don’t need to wallow in this feeling as there are so many other aspects of life to experience, but we should also not brush it under the carpet. I am feeling excited, energised and creative in my life and yet some days the grieving still hurts like hell. I am ok with this. We have to make friends with our grief and not judge it as it comes from a place of deep love.

 

Two Years

Two years they said

Two years it takes

In disbelief

I shake my head

The number stabs

The number stings

Who quantified

This whole grief thing?

Can’t round it up

It makes me cross

You don’t ‘get over’

Who you’ve lost

The hole’s too deep

The scars still raw

Two hundred years –

No help at all!

A missing part

An open wound

No justice there

You left too soon

You learn to live

With grief around

Patch yourself up

And dull the sounds

But underneath

It feels the same

A timeless

Neverending pain

Two years they said

For goodness sake

These people need

A damn good shake!

It sounds so round

It sounds so neat

Two years and then

Your grief’s complete!

Three hundred and seventy

Earthly days

It feels like it was

yesterday!

In disbelief

My head I shake

Two bloody years

For goodness sake!

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30 thoughts on “The Grief Brief

  1. I agree wholeheartedly Sam. They say it gets easier but personally I think the second year has been harder than the first. I just take a day at a time and keep busy. Thankful for the family and friends I have who help me through it. Love to you 🙂 Susan xx

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    1. Love to you too Susan. The waves of grief come when you least expect them sometimes, don’t they? Taking life day by day is definitely the way forward. Sometimes you just have to let yourself feel what you feel, knowing that it will change at some point. Big hugs x x x

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  2. I really needed this today as I just went through some of my dad’s papers. He died in January of this year. Mom died back in 2008. I was thinking that I am grieving way more for Dad than I did for Mom, but my husband helped me realize that when Mom died, I patched myself up quickly for Dad’s sake, and because at that time, I was a single parent, working a full time job. Now that I’m retired and have fewer responsibilities and more support, I think I’m grieving for both of my parents at the same time. I appreciate your poem so much. It’s right on time!

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    1. I can really understand this. At times grief is put on hold whilst you are just trying to survive. Wishing you a peaceful time with the grieving JoAnna. Sometimes we really do just have to let ourselves feel sad and acknowledge that the missing hurts. It’s when we judge our feelings that we complicate the process. Big hugs to you and so sorry for the loss of your parents.

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    2. Hi JoAnna I just worded a long reply to this but it appears it hasn’t sent. I just wanted to say that sometimes grief is put on hold when we are in survival mode. Wishing you a peaceful journey through grief and so sorry to hear of the loss of your parents. Allowing grief feelings to have some space is healthy and healing. Big hugs to you 🙂

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  3. I am in deep grief these days and I am feeling, writing and reading about it a lot. If you visit my blog you can see my thoughts on this. I am just trying to write all I feel. Sometimes whatever I write is too negative and dark and sometimes it is a little better.

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  4. Thanks, many bloggers have suggested me writing is theraupatic and I shall continue writing my feelings. Even I have realized that once I pen down the thoughts flooding my mind, I feel a little better.

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    1. Thanks Kay. Grief really does not follow any rules. It has been just over two years since I lost my Dad and I still miss him like yesterday. Just have to let the grief out now and again and befriend it somehow! For me that’s how the healing takes place anyway.
      Big hug Kay, Sam 🙂

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      1. 100% agree. When I lost my twin sister, my world changed in a way I could not ever have prepared for. Writing has been a huge release though. And it helps to read others accounts of surviving it and how the managed. Always makes me feel less crazy somehow 😉

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  5. I absolutely love this because it is beautiful writing and I personally resonate with it as well. I have lost quite a few of the most important people in my life far too soon and I write poetry to help deal with my grief as well. Keep up the good work!

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