Don’t Fear the Tears



If only grief really were a linear journey with a defined start and end point. If only it had a predictable format and you really could ‘get over it’.  One thing that the last -year has taught me is that grief is an ever-changing and personal experience. The best thing you can do for someone who is going through grief is just to be there. No words or advice will ever hit the spot as grief simply has to be lived through. I have learned to forgive some of the clueless comments that people make at times as these clumsy words usually come from a very good place. I have also learned to have the confidence to express my grief when I need to. It is a human right to cry when you have lost someone that meant the world to you. You have to find your voice, and your path through the tears and no one can tell you how to do this. I do not believe that it is healthy to dwell on our sad feelings but simply to express them as they arise. They come and go and they are not our enemies!


The Myth of Grief

They thought that she’d moved along

Enough time had gone by

They thought that the scars had healed

Now she no longer cried

She thought if they only knew

It never goes away

She wished that they understood

She grieved for him each day

Spring restored her hope again

And summer cleared her head

Autumn brought the will to learn

In Winter she still bled

They thought that it took a year

Or two at most they said

Clearly they had no idea

How grief’s ghost haunts your head

She thought, it is not their fault

They know not what they say

Guess this road’s a lonely one

I’ll travel it my way

She knew that the depth of grief

Came from the love she had

She felt blessed beyond all words

For her inspiring Dad



11 thoughts on “Don’t Fear the Tears

  1. Very well expressed … grief is indeed a very personal journey, no fixed recipe or time frame. My father has been dead for 24 years but I still try to be with Mum on their anniversaries – his death, his birthday and their wedding anniversary all fall within one week – as she still feels the pain. Doesn’t like being a widow but wont marry again. I miss his stabilising influence on the family …

    Liked by 1 person

      1. she struggles as to why my siblings don’t even remember the anniversary … they have moved on but more than 40 years of marriage doesn’t just disappear …


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